2nd Draft: A new character in a different Scenario

Jumping off Ed's feedback I thought of a new, more plausible scenario which makes it easier for the audience to understand. Before jumping into detail, I worked out the scenario without phrasing every sentence.

Major Changes:

• New character

• New scenario

Instead of not knowing where the character is, I wanted to make clear that he was just arrested. That he is passionate with his whole heart about the environment and humanitarian rights. This is a topic that is closer to us than the Russian revolution but triggers a lot of political tension in the present time. That inspired me to the question if we even have free will or if we are completely controlled by capitalism. The audience should be able to connect to that and would hopefully be affected by it.

#1: The Character

My notes to the new character called Peter Gershman were the following.

#2: The Draft

#3: Ed Harris feedback

Ed told me that the Character has to take a decision. One way to implement that into this scenario would be to let him decide between calling his dad to get him out or not doing that because he doesn't want to use the system that he hates.

His feedback was that the idea of who the character is and the situation he is in has got potential but the dramatic question and the task are missing.